Squidbits

Stupid performance reviews

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to dust off the ol' performance review plan my (old) boss and I put together early last year with all the lofty goals I would accomplish during the year. As a sales person, I'd say that pretty much if I didn't make my quota then I didn't "meet expectations" for the year. I had a crappy second quarter. I'm behind on my number. My customers screwed around and didn't do the upgrades I needed them to do. Does that mean I will get a "did not meet expectations"? Probably not, but I have to tell you that as I sat here tonight making comments to each of the "goals" that we put together last year I realized I accomplished a lot and yet nothing at the same time. Who knows what this will mean when I sit down with my boss for the final review. It is what it is and has to be done, but I still think it's bogus. On the plus side, I did stay the battery recycling lead for my office, so I have that going for me.

Sticking with it

I've been struggling lately with my job.  About 6 months ago I embarked on a project that is a service combining several of our product lines.  At the time I thought I was just my product line's "go-to" person for the project, but as it turns out I am now heading up the entire thing.  I found that piece of information out during a meeting one day in late January when my name appeared in a little white box on a PowerPoint slide as leader of the project.  I don't have to tell you my heart started racing the second I saw that.

The next two months after that heart-racing meeting I spent really trying to define our basic offering.  That's great, but now comes the difficult part and one I have been dreading for some time now:  there are several projects underneath this larger one that need project managers, project plans, BUDGETS, resources, etc.  I am way out of my league here - I am in uncharted territory in my career and to be honest it has been freaking....me.....out.

Over the weekend I started thinking about so many business articles I've read about high potential employees and how they WILL fail at some point in their careers and it's important to make sure they get back up and learn from that failure.  I felt like I having an out of body experience, looking in on myself:  "Is this going to be my failure from which I need to rise?" I was asking myself.  A comment I heard in a meeting today from one of my colleagues was, "I feel like a kamikaze pilot:  what I'm doing is great for war victories, but I still get killed."  Am I a kamikaze pilot right now now only because this is a challenging project but because I'm inexperienced at product and project management?

So, yesterday as I was driving home I had an epiphany, one that can only happen when you're back is thrust up against the wall and you have people pressuring you for deliverables and others telling you the reasons why the thing you're working on ISN'T going to be a success but you know it will.  My epiphany was this:  I *CAN* do this job, I'm just going to have to work my butt off to learn a little more and to get things done.  And if I do end up failing, then I'll do it by giving it everything I've got and not by quitting because it's too hard or letting things just fall apart around me from lack of decision or action.  When I started thinking like that, the ideas started flowing.  I got focused, I completed some documents I needed to get out, and I've got a game plan (even if it seems like I'm in the 4th quarter and it's too late.  It's never too late!).

It is easy in life to stop doing something because it gets too hard.  I've found that when I stick with those hard things, though, the rewards at the end are that much sweeter.  Here's hoping I look back a year from now on a great learning experience and a successful project.  BANZAI!!!

North Africa.....

Ever since visiting Morocco in March I have been fascinated with North Africa.  Being so close to Europe and the Middle East, it is a melting pot of cultures.

I visited Hassi Messoud, Algeria and Cairo, Egypt for two product seminars for work this past week.  It has the first time I had been to both places.  Both blew me away for different reasons.

First, Hassi.  I truly believe that anyone who runs a company that does business here must, at the very least, visit.  The working conditions are truly unbelievable.  I woke up from a nap and realized I was flying over desert....and not a small sliver of desert like I visited in Morocco, but desert as far as the eyes can see.  For well over an hour of flying.  It gets up to over 140F in the summer, meaning there are certain chemicals you cannot use in the field because the flashpoint is lower than the ambient temperature outside!  Maintaining the equipment is a constant battle, for afterall, sand is an abrasive.  The people who work here work 4 weeks on-4 weeks off.  It is tough, but it works for most.  I met some great people at the Halliburton camp....one guy in particular had basically spent his whole career in this type of rotational work situation.  It was a little humbling to me to hear that, because you realize that so many of our operations succeed only because of people like him.

I was so glad to be able to see this first hand.

When we finally arrived in Cairo (I say finally because we had some flight problems and had to overnight it in Amsterdam...darn....), it was hard to see just how immense the city is.  There was no mistaking, however, that it is a city that never sleeps.  In that sense it reminded me of Mumbai - people out at all hours of the night and some pretty intense traffic.

Following the product seminars, we saw the light show at the Giza Pyramids.  Driving there allowed me my first glimpse of Cairo.  It is insanely big, and you realize that things do not run that efficiently, but you cannot help but be pulled in by the culture and your surroundings.  Here I was driving along the Nile River - one of those far away places you read about as a kid, and I was finally seeing it. 

I will go back there.  I only got a taste of the city, and from what I saw and from the people with whom I spoke, you could not help but be drawn into it.

First image:  Hassi Messaoud, Algeria - 6 July 2007

Second image:  Rooms at the Halliburton camp, Hassi Messaoud - 6 July 2007

Third image:  Driving to the Giza Pyramids - 11 July 2007

Fourth image:  Me in front of the Syphinx - 11 July 2007